


coming home

by lhknox



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Fix-It of Sorts, Love, Romance, minor and brief sam/alex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 04:07:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14512197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lhknox/pseuds/lhknox
Summary: "I have a girlfriend, Maggie.""I know," she says with a smile, "All I’m saying is you could have a wife."---Inspired by one of the best Mark/Lexie Grey's Anatomy scenes of all time.





	coming home

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd

Maggie had never been one to take chances. 

 

She was pragmatic, she was cautious, she stayed safe.

 

She had set up parameters, insurances to make sure she couldn’t be hurt, not again. She had a comfortable life, and she didn’t want anything to jeopardize that. She’d worked too hard to get to where she was.

 

And then she met Alex Danvers.

 

Alex, too, was safe and cautious, but there was something so electric between them, pure energy that pulled them together again and again and again. So Maggie decided to throw caution to the wind. She thought that maybe for once she didn’t need a safety net, because there’s no way she would fall.

 

She was safe until she wasn’t. And then she was more hurt than she had ever been before. The walls went back up and the caution tape she wrapped around herself felt permanent. She cut ties with Alex, with the life she had built in National City, and she returned to Gotham, knowing that even though she may not find the same sort of happiness ever again, maybe she could find some sort of peace instead.

 

So when she’s called in to help with a case back at the NCPD, she’s scared. Because she knows she’s bound to see Alex again and she doesn’t know if she could survive that. She almost turns it down.

 

Almost.

 

But now she’s pulling on her leather jacket and making sure her hotel room is just clean enough that the maids won’t judge her. She wonders if that small coffee shop near the NCPD headquarters is still open, praying that she’ll be able to get her extra strong extra large black coffee before she has to report in.

 

And then, about a half hour later, she finds herself, giant coffee in hand, making small talk with the coworkers she left behind all those months ago. She’s only twenty minutes into her day, and she’s exhausted of the inane drabble and pretending like everything’s exactly as it was when she left. 

 

But she was different now, and she felt it. She was a sergeant now, she was busy re-erecting the walls she had let down for Alex. She felt like a different person compared to the one who started at the NCPD all those years before, like an outsider to the life she had left behind.

 

When her old boss - and the head of the case she’s working on - tells her to head over to the DEO for an inter departmental meeting about the case, she regrets coming back. The churning nerves in her gut turn to cement and she feels like maybe she’s going to be sick. The thought of Alex Danvers sitting in the same room as her is terrifying, and the thought of having to work with Alex is even scarier.

 

“Any questions?” Captain Banks asked.

 

Yeah, Maggie wanted to say. How do you casually say hello to the woman who was supposed to be the love of your life? How do you pretend like everything’s okay when you still want to angry cry at the smallest reminder of them? How the fuck do you solve a case of alien espionage when the only thing you can think about is the way her hands used to feel as they roamed your body, the way her breath felt on your neck?

 

“No, ma’am,” Maggie replies instead.

 

And then she’s waiting for Alex in a DEO briefing room and she thinks she might hyperventilate or pass out or maybe both. When Winn walks into the room, Maggie forgets about her nerves for just a moment. Instead, she feels inexplicably sad, as though she were seeing the photo of a lost loved one for the first time. She forgets sometimes, how she lost more than just Alex when they broke up. She lost a multitude of friends, the first family she had been a part of in a long time. 

 

Seeing Winn reminds her of how lonely her new existence is.

 

“Hey, buddy,” she smiles as he makes a beeline for her and pulls her in for a hug.

 

“Maggie Sawyer as I live and breathe,” he says. “It’s been too long.”

 

“Tell me about it,” she replies. “Keeping out of trouble?”

 

“Only when I have to. How’ve you been back in Gotham?”

 

“Oh, you know, settling in. Working hard.”

 

“I don’t get why you moved so far away,” he says, “Don’t you miss that good old National City sunshine?”

 

As if right on cue, Alex walks into the room, flanked by J’onn and Kara dressed as Supergirl.

 

Maggie smiles sadly at Winn. “There’s a couple things I miss, yeah.”

 

She swallows the nerves and sadness, and she approaches the trio across the room. 

 

“Hi,” she says. It’s supposed to be to all three of them, but she can’t take her eyes off Alex, who somehow looks even better than she did before. “It’s… it’s good to see you.” She turns to the others. “All of you.”

 

J’onn claps a hand on her shoulder. “Sergeant Sawyer, it’s great to see you, too,” he says, before taking a seat. Kara smiles awkwardly before following his lead. And then it’s just her and Alex. It feels as though the rest of the world falls away, leaving behind nothing but the two of them.

 

Alex hesitates for a split second. “I’m sure we can get through this with professionalism, without letting anything get between us or the investigation.”

 

_ I’m still in love with you, _ Maggie wants to say. Because in that moment, she knows it’s true. She had been so sure that she was over Alex. But then, standing in front of her, seeing her eyes, breathing in her perfume, Maggie felt nothing but love for her ex-fiance. 

 

_ I love you and I think I always will,  _ is what she wants to say.

 

“I’m fine if you’re fine,” is what she settles on.

 

///

 

The briefing goes for a couple of hours, as they discuss case history and strategy. Maggie stays quiet for the most part, only interjecting when she’s called on. She lets Alex talk, and she uses it an excuse to watch her for a bit, and daydream about what could’ve been.

 

“So we’re all in agreement then,” Alex concludes, “we stake out the warehouse where we expect the meeting to take place, and we’re ready to go at a moment’s notice.”

 

Something doesn’t sit quite right with Maggie, but she lets it go. This is Alex’s case more than her’s. Hell, she’s here out of courtesy, really, as a favour to Captain Banks. She’s happy to keep her mouth shut and follow orders. Whatever it takes to get out of National City and away from Alex as soon as possible.

 

“Maggie, you should join us for drinks tonight at the bar,” Winn says as everybody starts shuffling out.

 

“I don’t think that’s the best idea,” Maggie says. “Thank you, though.”

 

“Really, you should come,” Kara says, surprising Maggie. “James will be there, and he’d love to see you, too.” She seems earnest, and so Maggie looks to Alex, who smiles awkwardly.

 

“It’ll be nice to catch up,” she says, but Maggie’s not sure if she really means it. She hesitates for a moment; she had been looking forward to heading back to the hotel and having a long shower.

 

“Drinks sound great.”

 

///

 

“I’ll get the next round,” Maggie tells the group, and she uses the excuse to escape the table for a little while, at the very least.

 

Drinks had been a bad idea. Being back at her old bar, reminiscing with the people who used to be her friends, she had anticipated all of that. 

 

What she hadn’t seen coming was Sam. Sam, Alex’s new girlfriend who was perfectly lovely and funny and a good fit for Alex. Sam, who has new memories with her friends, who has a daughter and checks the boxes that Maggie just couldn’t. Sam, who had her arm around the woman Maggie loves.

 

She orders the drinks from a bartender she doesn’t recognise and she takes a breath as she waits. She just needs to get through this case, and then she can head back to Gotham and work on getting over Alex for good.

 

“You okay?” comes a voice from beside her. Maggie feels her heart skip a beat as Alex smiles at her, and she knows that she’s a lost cause.

 

“Just… yeah, I’m fine.”

 

“You don’t have to pretend you’re okay, not with me.”

 

Maggie smiles sadly. “Especially with you.”

 

“You were quiet in the meeting today.”

 

“I didn’t wanna get in the way; this is your case and I don’t want to step on any toes.”

 

“Come on, you can’t do that. We said we’d be professional. You don’t have to worry about upsetting me or anything.”

 

“Noted. I’ll let you know what I think from now on.”

 

_ I love you. _

 

“Perfect.”

 

“Sam, she’s… she seems great.”

 

_ I’m in love with you. _

 

“She’s pretty awesome,” Alex says with a smile.

 

_ I’ll always love you. _

 

“I’m glad you’re happy,” Maggie says, and despite everything, it’s true. Alex puts a hand on Maggie’s arm.

 

“I hope you are, too. Happy, I mean.”

 

_ I’ll never be happy without you. _

 

“I’ll get there.”

 

///

 

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” Alex says softly.

 

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Maggie says for the thousandth time. “It’s really okay. I love being in a confined space with my ex. It’s my favourite activity.”

 

“You’re an ass.”

 

“Stop thinking about my ass, and focus on the case,” Maggie teases, and she relishes in the feeling of flirting with Alex, no matter how benign it is.

 

It’s been a week since she got back to National City, and she and Alex are parked across from the warehouse, staking it out together. When Alex had suggested they work together, Maggie wanted to say no, she really did. But here she is, sitting in the hot car with the love of her life.

 

“There’s something I just don’t get.”

 

“What’s that?”

 

“Why would they hold such a high stakes meeting in a warehouse? I mean, we’re talking espionage, it usually has more flair.”

 

“To throw us off the trail, probably. Not attract suspicion. My intel is good, I told you that.”

 

“Yeah, I know.”

 

“I just. I can’t help but feel like something’s off.”

 

“Maybe it just feels weird to be back,” Alex suggests.

 

“That’s the thing,” Maggie says. She decides it can’t hurt to confide in Alex, they’ve already been through so much together. “It feels so normal to be back here. And that sucks. I wanted Gotham to feel like home, but it doesn’t.”

 

“These things take time.”

 

_ I don’t need time. I need you. _

 

“Yeah, maybe.”

 

They sit in silence after that, studying the warehouse. And then finally, they spot somebody approaching and entering the building.

 

“That’s the guy I was waiting for, he’s been involved in this from the start.”

 

Maggie frowns. “He seems… way too low brow for espionage.”

 

“It’s not all fancy suits and briefcases, you know.”

 

“But this is… I don’t know, Alex. I think it might be false intel.”

 

“We need this bust. We gotta go ahead.”

 

“Well then make the call.”

 

Alex hesitates for a moment. And then she picks up her walkie talkie.

 

“All units go ahead.”

 

///

 

It was an ambush, Maggie was right.

 

She finds herself back at the DEO, no smugness or sense of superiority. They’d lost an agent and she knows Alex is taking it hard. After she gets cleaned up and they all get debriefed - a debriefing from which Alex is suspiciously absent - Maggie heads down to where she knows she’ll find her.

 

“Alex, can I talk to you?” She asks as she knocks on the door of her lab.

 

“If this is about earlier, I don’t need an I-told-you-so right now, okay? You were right -”

 

Maggie takes a step into the room. “I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”

 

“A man died because of me. I’m not okay.”

 

“You were doing what you thought was best.”

 

Alex laughs humorlessly. “That makes it worse. Because clearly my intuition also isn’t working. Just… let me work in peace, please.”

 

Maggie takes a seat by Alex’s bench. “You can work. But I’m not leaving.”

 

They sit in silence and Maggie watches as Alex inspects something in a microscope, as she jots down notes in her messy scrawl. She watches as Alex works and then it hits her.

 

It doesn’t matter if Sam’s a good fit, because Maggie was more than that. It wasn’t just that they fit together nicely, but it felt like it had since the very beginning. They were always meant to be with each other. They were soulmates, kismet, made of the same stars that once burned billions of years ago and that now only burn brightly in their souls. Maggie would never get over Alex, because she was never supposed to. 

 

She’s not religious by any means, but meeting Alex, loving Alex, it sort of feels like a miracle.

 

And it’s something she’s not ready to give up.

 

“Alex?” Maggie says, breaking the silence.

 

“You said you’d let me work in peace.”

 

“I know, but… there’s something I need to say. And I need to say it without you interrupting me and I need you to look at me while I say it.”

 

Alex looks up from the microscope.

 

“Promise me you’ll let me say everything I wanna say.”

 

Maggie smiles at the little confused crinkle that appears between Alex’s eyebrows as she answers. “Promise.”

 

She takes a deep breath. For a moment, she stops and she centres herself and everything becomes clear. She doesn’t feel scared, she doesn’t feel nervous. She feels like she used to feel around Alex. Calm. Sure. Content. Like even if things don’t work out, it doesn’t matter because they’ll find their way back to each other, one day. Alex always felt inevitable to Maggie. She knew, somehow, that their souls were two halves of a whole, finding their way back to each other over and over and over again, in every lifetime they find themselves in.

 

She wasn’t scared of being hurt, because it was a small price to pay for getting forever with the woman with whom she’s destined to be.

“I want to have kids with you,” she says matter-of-factly.

 

“Maggie-” 

 

“No. You said you’d let me speak. I want kids with you. Or I don’t, if you change your mind. Or I’ll adopt a hoard of golden retrievers and give them all ridiculous names like Gertrude or Petunia. I don’t care what future I have, as long as I get to have it with you.  _ You _ , you’re what matters, anything else is just an added bonus.”

 

“You didn’t want my future, Maggie, and I couldn’t force you into it.”

 

“Alex, I’m still in love with you. I tried not to be, and it didn’t work. I don’t want to sleep around anymore, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to be with you. I want another chance with you. I’m in love you.”

 

“Maggie, I- Sam - I… Maggie, I have a girlfriend.”

 

“I know,” Maggie replies, cocking her head to the side and smiling softly, a smile she reserved for Alex and Alex alone. “All I’m saying is you could have a wife.”

 

“What… what do you want me to say?”

 

“Nothing, I don’t expect you to drop everything in your life for me. I just needed you to know how I feel. Think about. Maybe we can grab a coffee sometime, and catch up, talk everything through.”

 

She walks back to the door, stopping in the doorway and turning back for one last farewell.

 

“See you round, Danvers.”

 

///

 

She heads back to her hotel feeling fulfilled. She expected, on some level, to feel sad and even more heartbroken that before. But instead she feels hopeful. Alex knows how she feels, and now the ball is in her court. After speaking to Alex, she had gone back to the NCPD and had a long chat with Captain Banks. Maybe she’ll take a few days leave and hang around National City a while longer. Maybe, just maybe, she’ll start looking into transferring back to her old stomping grounds. She had always liked National City.

 

She fumbles for a moment with the keycard to her room, and unlocks the door.

 

And then she almost has a heart attack when she notices the shadowy figure by the couch.

 

She pulls her gun. “Don’t move.”

 

“It’s just me,” the figure says, stepping into the light and revealing Alex, with an amused expression. “Sorry that I startled you.”

 

“How did you get here?” Maggie says, putting her gun away.

 

“I had Kara drop me on the balcony, and then I picked the lock.”

 

“You two should really come with a warning,” Maggie says.

 

“We get told that a lot,” she smiles. “So…”

 

“So…”

 

“I broke up with Sam.”

 

_ Oh. _

 

“Oh.”

 

“It wasn’t fair to her; I wasn’t fair to her.”

 

_ Say it faster. _

 

“... I see.”

 

“It wasn’t fair that I was in love with someone else.”

 

“You were?” Maggie asks, her voice as small as the budding hope in her heart.

 

“I never stopped loving you, Maggie. I never wanted to stop loving you.”

 

“It’s always been you, Alex,” Maggie tells her. “You’re the only thing I’ve ever needed. The only thing I’ve ever wanted.”

 

Alex closes the small gap between them, and Maggie takes her face in her hands.

 

“I love you,” Alex breathes. Maggie can feel Alex’s hands on her hips, see her deep brown eyes and the secrets they hold. She can practically hear her heart beating.

  
And then they’re kissing. Soft and full and saying everything they couldn’t explain with words.

 

Maggie smiles as her heart swells and fills with more love than she knows what to do with, as she holds the love of her life, her entire world, in her arms.

 

“I love you, too,” Maggie tells her. She was never someone who took chances, but Alex is different. She’s worth everything.

 

And Maggie’s never going to let her go again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> as always, find me on tumblr at murdershegoat


End file.
